And there came a ghost, a hideous looking creature who shook you with fright, and made you shiver. Oh what will I do now? I’m trapped in this cinema hall, do I have to sit through the whole film? What will happen to me by the end of it?

Buzzz… excuse me that was the reaction expected for a ‘real’ horror movie. With Bhoothnath even a 4-year old won’t stress his thought to that level.

The ghost here is a dirty tramp, with his own house of-course, which he has possessed and doesn’t want anyone to stay in. Typical stories of the bhoot bangla heard at hill stations. First thing, I’ll suggest authors of horror stories not to see this disaster in the paranormal domain. The script is really abnormal, even real ghosts would find it so.

Please note that the movie has two exclusive parts targeted at two exclusive target audiences:

Part one (before the interval): Very enjoyable indeed. Strictly for kids, and the parents who don’t have a choice but to accompany the kids, would love it too.

Part Two: For the ones who have ‘nothing’…, literally nothing to do in life, those who want to beat the heat by visiting the multiplex, ghost busters, mad fans of AB, and thats all.

Even the ghost busters can see the film to understand how such ghosts can never exist. Please also understand that Part Two is difficult for kids comprehend within their intellectual boundaries.

The story… ghoul in the house; The house is his; Doesn’t want anyone to stay; Kid and mom move into the house; “Ghouls don’t exist!”, the kid is brainwashed. “Only Angels do!”, the kid is brainwashed more. Finally, the ghoul is brainwashed by the kid. Oh no… Ruskin Bond please don’t read this!

The ghost Big B has been given a crazy avatar, which somehow doesn’t suit his personality. I wonder how he must have felt on the day of the premiere. SRK is for namesake. Aman Siddiqui (the kid) is a great actor. We should wish him all the best for his future roles. And I hope he gets a much sensible script for his next film. Satish Shah playing the principal, is really funny. Rajpal Yadav is good, but just a filler. Juhi Chawla is still as sweet as ever. Playing mom with her bubbly expressions and cute impressions, she keeps munching on those Kurkure packets as per the subliminal marketing guidelines.

(I’m doing direct marketing for Kurkure on this blog. Readers please eat Kurkure.. SRK, BigB and Juhi Chawla like it, you will like it too! Now do I assume I’m getting any benefits here?)

Bhoothnath is the more powerful than the Iron Man, Jackie Chan and Casper combined. He can not only control wind, he can be visible to anyone and invisible to everyone, he can elongate his hands and elongate others’ hands too!

Bhoothnath is an angel from the spirit world with a superior material existence! Guys at least be under paranormal limits… don’t give an inferiority complex to Fox Mulder who had to do so many episodes of x-files and still couldn’t find a match to Bhoothnath.

What happens after the interval is a complete contrast. The kids will need to reach adolescence to understand how harebrained the post interval enigma is. The question remains , for whom is this film made? Kids will the enjoy the first half, will cry or sleep in the second. Adults will laugh in the first half, will feel like pulling their hair in the second. I think the producers should ask the multiplexes to run Bhoothnath as two separate films. They should ideally charge half the money too.

If you thought, “Yah film dekh kar mere bacche ka dar door ho jayega! Kitni acchi baat hai..”, then please! This film stresses on the fact that ghosts exist. It’s not anti-superstition, but an attempt to imbibe these weird phenomena.

Even after saying all this I’m sure you want to…

Some other reviews on the web: